


The Kids Are All Right

by Opium_du_Peuple



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: AU, Adoption, Children, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future AU, I suck at tags OMG, M/M, Post Season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-09 10:09:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1978872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opium_du_Peuple/pseuds/Opium_du_Peuple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Future AU 15years after the Rising</p><p>Life has changed a lot in 15 years! Now a recognized artist, Kieren spends his life between Roarton and the rest of the world, traveling with Simon while Jem jungles between her own little family and her job as a police officer in Manchester. But as the Walkers reunite for a family dinner, Kieren realizes something is missing in his life. The biological clock may not be ticking away for PDS sufferers but it sure feels like it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sunday Roast

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god here I go again for another In the Flesh fic because I can't write my Hannibal one I feel SOOOOOOOOOO guilty!  
> I need to re-read all this to check for typing mistakes!  
> Anyway, I always loved the idea of Kieren taking care of a baby so here I am! Exploring PDS and babies turns out to be really fun! Coming out with everbody's jobs and activities has been a bitch but I finally made it! To sum up kickly, Kieren's a worldwide knows artist, Simon is helping the PDS cause in a more... legal way, 29 year old Jem is a cop, married to a doctor and mother of 6 year old twins!  
> Kudos and comment away if you liked the first chapter, I always love feedback! Plus it's always nice to know what you all think ;)

Muffled voices rose from the hall and Kieren straightened on his chair. In front of him, his mother's untouched Sunday roast was slowly cooling down in his plate. So was Simon's, sat next to him. 

"You're such a dickhead!" a child's voice shouted. 

"No, YOU'RE such a dickhead!" another replied, mimicking the first one. 

"BOYS, LANGUAGE!" Jem's voice covered the others. 

Tiny feet started to hammer the floor to reach the living room. Soon, little Hugo and William appeared, racing with each other to the dinning table. Both had inherited their blue eyes from their mother but if Will's hair was the same hue of brown than Jem's, Hugo took after his fair-haired father. The boys were quickly followed by an exhausted Jemima, carrying heavy bags in her hands. Steve got up at once, kissed his daughter's cheek before relieving her from her burden. 

"Thanks Dad, traffic was HELL. Hi Mum!" 

Mother and daughter embraced each other before Jem turned towards Kieren and Simon to hug them both as well. Kieren couldn't help but thinking about how grown-up his little sister looked now. The red hair coloration, the devil-may-care attitude... It seemed so long ago. Well, the foul language was still there and already passed to the next generation. 

"You've not aged since last time I saw you, lil' bro!" Jem laughed, looking at Kieren from head to toe. 

"Is that a wrinkle on you forehead?" the latter teased back. 

Fifteen years since the rising and Kieren's body had stayed the same, stuck in its eighteen year old stage. But the same thing didn't go for the rest of the Walkers. Sue's dark hair had got sparse a few years ago and Steve was constantly looking for his newly acquired glasses. The only ones the room time had spared were Kieren and Simon. As Steve had said once : Time was on their side. 

And they had taken advantage of all this time. Artistic PDS sufferers were very trendy, as it turned out. Kieren's work revealed to be worth a fortune, according to various experts. Being labelled as such didn't delight him but he had to admit his situation was now more than comfortable. Simon and he had seen it all : France, South Brazil, Australia, Egypt, New York... They had travelled along Kieren's exhibitions throughout the world, sending postcards back to Roarton where Sue and Steve would pin them onto a wall. They were to stay in London for a couple of weeks and decided to pass by for a good old family dinner. 

The newcomers' plates were quickly filled with potatoes, broccoli, roast beef and parsnips. The kids politely thanked their grandmother and once this social convention was out of the way, began to stuff everything in their faces. If Steve and Sue shared a meaningful look regarding the eating habits of their grand kids, Jem didn't pay attention to it. 

"Isn't Brian coming?" Simon asked Jem. 

"Naaaah, stuck at the hospital. That's what you get when you marry a doctor – money and more sunday roast! That beef is a killer, mum, by the way!" 

"Thank you, love."  
"Anything interesting happened at the station?" Steve asked. 

"Arrested two blokes last night. Real lunatics. I think they had too much to drink, really. Manchester is full of fanatics, you wouldn't believe it! There was this one criminal group, yeah? There were those blokes, 3 of them PDS that were robbing shops and using the PDS ones to take the bullets since they can't feel anything and shit." 

Being a PDS sufferer during a sunday roast used to be a bit embarrassing, back in the day. Not touching your food, trying to direct the conversation towards non-touchy subjects... But it was extremely pleasant now. The fact that their did not see each other very often had brought them all closer. 

** 

Once the plates had all been emptied and the stomachs filled, the afternoon continued in the garden. England's shy sun had allowed a few of its rays to shine upon Roarton which delighted the kids. From the open plate glass window, Kieren was watching Simon and the boys playing football, a sad smile on his lips. Arriving behind his back, Jem wound her arm around her brother's shoulder. At least she had stopped to grow at sixteen, allowing Kieren to stay the tallest of them. He would always be the big brother in that respect. 

"What's on your mind, Kier'?" 

The latter did his best to rub off the sad look on his face. He knew it wouldn't be enough to convince Jem, though. 

"Nothing. You have a great family, Jem." 

She tightened her embrace. 

"What are you talking about? You're part of my family! And so is Simon!" 

Both watched the improvised football game for a minute. As goalkeeper, Simon was obviously letting Will score, going the wrong direction for every single penalty kick the little boy would shoot. A large grin on his face, the man was clearly enjoying himself. 

"You two should tie the knot, ya know? It's legal now." 

Kieren smiled, not leaving the man he loved out of his sight. 

"What for? Marriage is mostly an inheritance thing, no? In case one of us dies. Dying is not really one of our concern now, is it?" 

"Shame, I would have been a bloody good maid of honour!" 

** 

The alarm clock was displaying 3am but Kieren Walker was still wide awake. Laying on his back, he had been staring at the ceiling for an hour. Amy's bungalow had remained as they had left it. They had bought the place after Amy's death and used it their home base ever since. Only there would they feel at home.  
Next to him, a sleeping Simon was mumbling non-sense in his sleep, breaking the silence surrounding them. Slowly, Kieren began to poke his lover to wake him up. Something was stuck in his mind, something he had to talk about. He had to get it out of his chest. 

"Simon? Simon?" 

A disapproving grunt indicated the latter's reluctance to regain consciousness but Kieren insisted. 

"Simon?" 

"WhaAaaaAaaaaaaat...?" 

"Have you ever..." 

He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. 

"Have you ever thought about kids?"


	2. Pillow Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! Short chapter with looooots of dialogs for today, I kinda feel lame about that! It also turned out much more angsty than anticipated, sorry! A lot of you will be like : "I came here to have a good fluff and I feel so angsty right now" but I promise you this is just a phase!  
> Kudos and comments are, as always, highly appreciated! I'd love to hear (or read) what you think!  
> See ya next time!

The room was left in heavy silence. Nothing was to be heard except for the distant murmur of the traffic on the road. No fabric rustles, no breathing, no racing heartbeat. Maybe this was why they called it “the dead of the night”.   
They had never talked about kids. Not ever. Not even when Jem had announced she was pregnant, not even when she gave birth to the twins, not even when Kieren had hold his nephews in his arms. They had been together for a decade now and the issue never came up. Kieren could not even say he had been longing for children of his own all that time, he loved the life they had managed to create for the two of them. All the travelling, the cuddly lie-ins, the intimacy… It had felt like a ten year long honeymoon. But something was missing, he could feel it in his very core. Something he didn’t know he needed until this very afternoon.   
Eventually, Simon turned towards Kieren, his exhausted and yet piercing white eyes studying his lover’s features. His grave expression contrasted with the large pillow mark printed on his cheek. 

“By kids you mean Will and Hugo..?” he asked, uncertain. 

Even though he didn’t need to, Kieren swallowed hard. 

“No, I mean… kids in general.” 

He let a few seconds pass before adding : 

“Kids we could have. You and me.” 

His apprehension made his voice crack a bit. Stupid, he was stupid. He shouldn’t have brought that subject up, not in the middle of the night anyway. In spite of the darkness, Kieren saw Simon’s eyes widening in surprise. He opened his mouth to say something but once again, not a sound was to be heard. After a tremendous effort in which he gave out a bunch of vowels, Simon managed to string a few words together. 

“I didn’t know you wanted kids.” 

A shy smile bloomed upon Kieren’s lips. 

“Well, to be fair, neither did I.” 

Simon relaxed his head onto his pillow, giving out a long sigh. His gaze fixed on the ceiling, the Irishman seemed lost in thoughts. Weighing pros and cons, Kieren thought. Having a child would change a lot of things. The travelling, the work… Their whole lifestyle, actually! No wonder he needed a minute to consider all these factors. But when Simon finally parted his lips, it was an unexpected sentence that came out : 

“I have thought about it.” 

It was Kieren’s turn to raise his brows. What? He did?! He bent over Simon, resting on his forearm. 

“You did?! When? Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Another sigh. 

“Because I knew there would be complications. A lot of complications. So I didn’t want to drag you into some dead-end situation.” 

Simon turned his gaze towards Kieren’s, a mix of apology and tenderness in the eyes. The younger man ran his fingers into his lover’s dark hair and, for a moment, the silence regained its place in the room. 

“What complications?” Kieren eventually asked, his hand still playing with Simon’s hair. 

“PDS related ones. Like we could forget to feed the child because we don’t need to feed ourselves. Or we will see him grow old, wither and die while we would still be alive and kicking.” 

“Him or her.” Kieren interrupted 

Simon laughed. But not of a joyous, hearty laugh. More of a sad one, as if he couldn’t contemplate the possibility to one day succeed to have a child in his arms. 

“Yes, or her. And then there are the other stuff. Who’s going to give a baby to a suicidal teenager and a drug addict who ODed and then came in touch with a terrorist organisation? We make quite a pair in the eyes of the adoption folks.” 

Kieren bolted up, horrified. He knew PDS rights were a bit flawed but never to that extend! It had been 15 years! 15 fucking years! And in spite of making tremendous headway over the years, the situation was still this bad? 

“It was years ago! People make mistakes, they can’t possibly hold that against us, can they?” 

“I’m afraid they can advocate whatever they want if they pretend it’s for the child’s safety.” 

In a groan, Kieren let himself drop onto his side of the bed and cradled his face in his hands. Somewhere in the back of his skull, an all too familiar voice whispered in his ear : “A cold hearted killer that can’t be reasoned with. The PDS sufferer in your home, in your shop, in you pub is one misdose away from tearing your head apart.” A mental shiver ran along his spine as Maxine Martin’s voice resounded in his head. Even after all these years, her hate speech was still haunting him. So much hatred… Is that what they were scared of? That they would eat their own child? 

“Bullshit. This is so fucking unfair!” he whispered, as much for Simon than for himself. 

A hand went softly reach his, twining their fingers together. Simon moved closer towards Kieren, resting his head next to the fair hair sticking out the pillow. 

“Hey, hey. Remember what I said once? Tell me what you want, I’ll do everything I can to give it to you.” 

“Cause there’s what I believe, and then there’s you.” Kieren finished, reaching for Simon’s lips.


	3. Q&A

"Stop roaming around, love." 

"Shut up, helps me concentrate." 

It had been an hour since Kieren had started pacing around the living room. Sat on the sofa, Simon couldn't help thinking that the carpet was going to catch fire any minute now if his undead boyfriend didn't stop. But that's how stressed Kieren was like. He could vividly remember the latter's very first exhibition when he had been impossible to reason with, bursting with anxiety and second thoughts. The only thing was seeing him like this tended to make him nervous himself. And he couldn't have that, not today.   
Simon stood up and rested his hands onto Kieren's shoulders to stop his never-ending wandering. He had ditched the oversize jumpers for a clean white shirt for once, in an attempt to look more responsible. He had done the same with the bungalow, in a way. The whole place had been carefully scrubbed from floor to ceiling, all cleaned up and tidy. To be fair, the bungalow had never been this clean since Amy was still living and breathing there. Well... No, scratch that – the bungalow had never ever been that clean, period.   
Simon captured Kieren's chin with his fingers, forcing his gaze to cross his. 

"It's going to be alright, Kier'." 

Fear could be read all over Kieren's face. Four months of denied application had led them to this moment. As Simon had anticipated it, the custody of a child wasn't an easy thing to obtain for a PDS couple. An orphanage had eventually accepted their request and was sending a social worker to Roarton to interview them this very day. And if the both of them had been ecstatic when they had received the news, they happened to feel more and more pressure as the meeting day got closer. On the one hand, Simon was used to hide his stress and was keeping it together as best as he could but on the other hand, Kieren's descent into madness was starting to get out of hands. 

"No it's not! Why did we choose to meet them in Roarton, of all places?! The London flat would have been so much more appropriate! It's... It's bigger and decent and..." 

"It's going to be alright." Simon repeated, calmly. 

"Maybe we should put our contacts on, eh? Not to scare them off? I mean I don't want them to think we're monsters..." 

"Do you feel like a monster, Kier'?" 

Kieren sighed in frustration. He just wanted everything to be perfect, was that too much to ask? He looked up to Simon with big sad puppy eyes, making the latter's heart melt a bit. 

"It's just that... I don't want to fuck this up..." 

Simon stroke his boyfriend's shoulders to comfort him. Truth was he was as scared as Kieren but one of them had to be stable enough to prevent the other from crumbling. The social worker wouldn't be long now and they needed to be ready. 

"You won't. We won't. Listen, they have to see us for who we are don't you think? The livings are used to undead people going around without make-up now, trust me. It's more... honest, in a way." 

A tentative smile lit Kieren's face, visibly convinced by Simon's points. 

"I'll put the kettle on." 

The water just had the time to boil when the doorbell rang. Kieren rushed from the kitchen to the hallway but Simon had already took the initiative to open the door. There was standing a tall young woman, probably in her thirties with a kind but professional smile on her lips. Simon immediately hold out his hand to greet her and welcomed her inside. Her dark complexion clashed with her host's pale, pallid skin when they shook hands but she didn't shiver from the cold – or at least, the heatless – contact. Obviously, they weren't the first PDS applicants she had ever met, which boded well. 

After a myriad of shy smiles and embarrassed movements in the cramped hallway, they eventually ended up in the living room, Kieren and Simon sat on the sofa and the social worker – Sara – facing them from an armchair. With a side glance, Simon noticed his boyfriend fidgeting nervously with his fingers and grabbed his hand in his to stop him, holding it gently but firmly to reassure him. 

"Ok, so here's the procedure. I'm going to interview you, one at the time and collect some notes for your application file, right? Who wants to go first?" 

If Kieren's face could have turned paler, it sure would have. Alone? No! That wasn't the plan! He didn't prepare himself for a one on one interview! All this time he had thought Simon would be here to get him through it... He gave a terrified look to his partner who seemed as surprised as he was minus the crippling fear. Simon gave a small pressure to Kieren's hand. 

"I'll go first. Is that ok with you Kier'?" Simon asked, looking directly into the other man's eyes. 

"I.. er.. Sure! Sure, go ahead..!" he mumbled in reply. "I'll wait in the...er... kitchen." 

** 

The roaming around had been extended for twenty more minutes in the kitchen while Simon was having his interview. It is a disaster, thought Kieren. He had counted on Simon's presence when the social worker would have asked him questions on his parenting abilities. Now he was bound to look like an idiot incapable of formulating two consecutive sentences, let alone adopting a child. 

The sound of Simon's voice made him jump as the latter stepped into the kitchen. He had a relieved look on his face, as if the harder part was behind them. But the hardest part is yet to come, Kieren thought. 

"How did it go?" whispered Kieren, incapable to stay still a single second. 

"Not bad, I guess. Just... Relax, tell the truth, be yourself... It's going to be ok!" 

Not bad... If Simon's score was "not bad" what was going to be his?! Kieren painfully resisted the temptation of making a comment about "being himself". As Jem would often point out, "being himself" required a lot of sass and cynicism – Sassy pants, she called him – and that wasn't exactly the time and place for it. 

Simon practically pushed him in the living room. If it had only been up to him, Kieren would have buried himself all over again. He made some tentative steps towards the sofa, trying to appear as relaxed as he possibly could – which, to be fair, wasn't quite a success. In front of him, the social worker flashed an encouraging smile and drew her pen towards her notebook. 

"So, Mr Walker, what can you tell me about yourself?" 

A bit taken aback, Kieren blinked for a few seconds. That wasn't the kind of question he had thought about. 

"Me? Oh... Er... I'm... I consider myself to be a nice person, I mean... I don't want to hurt people. I'm just... a regular guy... Well, a regular guy who happened to crawl back from the grave but... I'm sorry this is terrible!" 

"No, no, don't worry! Why do you want to become a parent?" 

Even though he didn't need to, Kieren swallowed hard, focusing on the best way to word his thoughts. 

"Well... It's like.. Something's missing, you know? Don't get me wrong, Simon and I we're... We're very happy together, but there's this missing presence in the house. People – regular people – can have children if they want, right? We just need a little... help to have ours, that all." 

This speech is so unbelievably rubbish, Kieren thought. 

"Your file stipulates 'suicide' in the 'cause of death' section. Can you talk to me about it and how it would affect your parenting?" 

This was it. The question he had dread all along. He figured that Simon must had had the same concerning drug use and his overdose. 

"It was... A long time ago. And looking back it was a terrible error of judgement, if you can even call it that! I mean... Coming back... I realised how much it affected my family and... Well I don't really want to talk about it, this that's ok." 

"No, I understand perfectly. What about..?" 

"Sorry, I want to add something." Kieren continued. He could not believe he was actually going to say what he was going to say but damn he had to. 

"You asked me how my suicide would affect my parenting. It would affect it tremendously. Because I know why I did it. I was feeling sad, alone, misunderstood. I was feeling like this was the only way out. But it wasn't. Because I'm here, today, sat on my sofa, in my house, living a life I had never thought I would get the chance to live. And would want my child to know that it's ok to feel what he or she feels. That he or she can come to me, that I would listen and understand, not matter what because that's what parents do. And I won't let them live in fear of who they are and what is yet to come. My suicide wouldn't make me a bad parent, it would make me a more supportive one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeey longer chapter this time! It took me a while to write it but hey, here we are! I would love you read your feedback on this or whatever else you have to say! Thanks for the kudos, bookmarks, comments and so on!  
> See ya next time!


End file.
